In Which The Warlock Wishes His Fedora Still Fit...

So, earlier today, the PlatinumChick, Lionel, and I went off to The Greene, out in Kettering, to catch a glimpse of yet another massive summer blockbuster. This time on the agenda: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull.

To be perfectly blunt about this, I've been skeptical about this installment. Yes, I know--I was first in line when it came to the Star Wars prequels, but the casting in those was different; we weren't relying on a 60-something to be a pulp-action hero. And, for that matter, there weren't the massive scripting issues, or the disagreements on the pre-production level. Hell, in many ways, we were lucky that this film even came out. To say the least, I went in with reservations.

That said, onto the movie!

Indy IV opens in high style, with WWII long over and the McCarthyism of 1957 in full-swing. We find our titular hero being dragged into Area 51 by some disguised Commies led by wannabe-psychic dominatrix Irina Spalko, played by Cate Blanchett. It turns out that the Commies are in search of an artifact...an alien body, recovered from Roswell 10 years prior...and an accompanying crystal skull.

This results in a madcap chase across the better part of the Western Hemisphere, ending in the Peruvian Amazon Basin as our heroes--Indy, the resurgent Miriam Ravenwood, an aged and insane John Hurt, and the greaser Mutt (Shia LeBoeuf, whose name I can't help but chuckle every time I hear, as I think "Shia the Beef"). Pursued at every turn, Indy and Co. attempt to return the titular skull to an ancient lost city that might-or-might-not be El Dorado and might-or-might-not be an alien spacecraft. Particularly standing out is the end of the 'jungle chase scene', which culminates with a horde of angry stinging ants carrying away and feasting on unlucky Commie soldiers.

The plot, while servicable, is a distinct departure from the Indy films of old. The pseudo-mysticism of the first three films becomes a Fortean paranormalism in this film, which is reminiscent more of Hellboy or The X-Files than Raiders of the Lost Ark. The problem is...this isn't just a normal action film! This is Indiana Jones, for sweet Zombie Jesus' sake! The whip and fedora are certainly present, but the feel is off...

Any movie that makes me want to run game can't be bad, but in this case...I'd rather be running a paranoid DarkMatter/Warehouse 23 than pulp-ish Eberron.

There's nothing technically 'wrong' with the film. It's a fun little action flick, with some great scenes. Any movie that makes me want to run game can't be bad, but in this case...I'd rather be running a paranoid DarkMatter/Warehouse 23 than pulp-ish Eberron.

Harrison Ford's performance in this go-round really was solid, and as I mentioned, John Hurt does a fantastic job. I honestly could have done without the contrived reunion with Mirian Ravenwood, and the romance sub-plot felt particularly tacked on. What hurts, though, is the lack of a really powerful villian. Cate Blanchett drifts in and out of her Russian accent like the tide coming in and out, and she never gets beyond the 'hot chick in a tight uniform with a sword'. Shia LeBoeuf, similarly, leaves me wanting. Compared to prior Indy sidekicks--John Rhys-Davies' Sallah comes immediately to mind, followed by Short Round--Mutt Williams falls short quickly. While the movie makes him something of an heir-apparent to Indy's whip and fedora, I'd probably avoid a movie that focuses on LeBoeuf as a new Indy.

This is going to sound weird to say...but I was genuinely not impressed by John Williams' score. Coming from someone who owns all of the Star Wars soundtracks, I love John Williams' work, but this time around? No risks were taken, and nothing was rewarded. The soundtrack was servicable, at best, but not memorable or sweeping, as I've come to expect. Definintely one of the sadder points in this one.

I guess nostalgia is the biggest killer for this one. I remember the Indy series fondly, so this film had a ton of expectations to live up to. It's a good movie, really...it's just not the way it once was. If it had any other name than Indiana Jones attached to it, I'd love it. But, in this regard, its own name is its biggest flaw--it cannot possibly be too much.

So go enjoy it for what it is. Just remember...it's not the second coming of the Lost Ark or the Holy Grail.

The Warlock's Movie/TV Rundown

So, in addition to all of the gaming chaos about to be thrown down starting in June, we have a spectacular summer movie season coming up!

Iron Man, I mentioned earlier. I've been a fan of Shellhead for years, and this is just a massive way to start off the season. However, the Armored Avenger isn't alone!

Not two weeks later, we get hit with the full steam of movies:

May 2 -- Iron Man

May 9 -- Speed Racer
I'm not an anime fan in general, and but I'm genuinely concerned with the Wachkowski Brothers' next film. There's only one reason I would personally go see this, and that's Christina Ricci.

May 16 -- Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian
When Lion/Witch/Wardrobe came out, it was billed and marketed as a spiritual successor to Peter Jackson's "Lord of the Rings" films. While L/W/W did well, it failed in this regard. Prince Caspian, I believe, will put them back on the right track.

May 22 -- Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
I was really skeptical about this one. That is, I was until I saw the trailer. There's hope...especially the section in Warehouse 23!

June 1 -- The Venture Brothers: Season 3
Sweet zombie Christ on a pogo stick, I love this show! The infamous 3rd season has been in development hell for far too long, and it's only finally about to be released.
By the by, here's the trailer!



June 13 -- The Incredible Hulk
A reboot, after the miserable Ang Lee version, I was very impressed by the lead-in and trailer for Edward Norton's newest vehicle. That said, I think this is going to be the red-headed stepchild of the summer blockbuster season. Marketing has really been on the slow side, mainly as Marvel's marketing has headed towards Iron Man instead.

June 20 -- Get Smart
Well, it has Steve Carrell. That's about all. If he can singlehandedly make it float, it'll make some money, but I have few hopes for it.

June 27 -- Wall-E
Pixar has yet to really impress me. Yes, the animation is nice--I get that. Their films are pretentious and lacking real wit. Just try listening to the audio without watching the video. You'll think much differently about their films...particularly Cars and Finding Nemo.

July 11 -- Hellboy II: The Golden Army
Del Toro's vision of Mike Mignola's seminal character was great the first time around, and I'm eager to see more, but I'm somewhat worried about the plot and scripting. Some of the early visuals seem to be less "paranormal, Lovecraftian mythology" and more "Pan's Labyrinth". Still looking forward to this one, though.

July 18 -- The Dark Knight
I had some legitimate problems with Batman Begins, but I genuinely liked it. While Batman-as-ninja and the lack of compelling villainry (Liam Neeson totally phoned in his Ra's al-Ghul, and Scarecrow was a waste of time, which was sad) turned me off, the tone, the visuals, and the attention to detail made me happy. Heath Ledger's Joker, however, looks fantastically insane.

July 25 -- The X-Files: I Want to Believe
Seriously? Are you kidding me? The X-Files are about as relevant as re-runs of Roseanne, by now. I'm not sure who actually green-lit this project, but they need to be flogged for it.

August 1 -- The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Just like Incredible Hulk, I get the impression that this will be a dark horse candidate. No doubt that it will hit #1 in the country--there's no real competition that late in the season--but can it hold up to the others this year? My guess is 'no, but it will still be fun.'

August 15 -- Star Wars: The Clone Wars
And you thought that you were done watching Star Wars in a theater? Fools! Lucas will bury you! ANAKIN SMASH!
Yeah, I'm going to see it, too. Don't feel too bad about it--it's life. Just accept that you, too, are a geek, and cannot resist the seductive hiss of a lightsaber.

On that note, bed is calling. Tomorrow, you can expect my review of "Juno", which the PlatinumChick and I viewed this evening.