Tuesday, October 03, 2006

Chronicles from Eberron--The Tale of Harrigan the Horrible (Chapter 2.5)

This ballad was found with Harrigan's possessions by my friend in Khorvaire. I'm unsure what to make of it thusfar. To say the least, it speaks volumes on the dwarven lifestyle....

I like axes, sharp and ready.
I like wenches...with frosty brews.
I like drinkin' with lusty ladies.
I like eatin' my stew with ye...

I like diggin' in the granite.
I like breakin'...orcish skulls.
I bleed lava and shite out emeralds,
I drink hard ales in just one pull.

'Cause I'm all....all dwarven!

I mine mithril, and adamantine.
I eat roast pork, potatoes too.
I crush goblins, with my hammer.
I eat Illithid, deep fried in brew.

'Cause I'm all....all dwarven!

I like axes, ale and wenches...
I break elf-skulls and screw my whores.
I eat rubies with my beef stew,
but I come home and fight with you!

'Cause I'm all....all dwarven!
'Cause I'm all....all dwarven!
(Repeat ad nauseum)

(Sung to the tune of Free Fallin' by Tom Petty. All copyrighted material is the property of their owners and is used only as parody here.)

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