Monday, October 02, 2006

Chronicles of Eberron--The Tale of Harrigan the Horrible (Chapter 2)

The dwarf's tale takes a strange turn, as he and his friends board a lightning rail towards Korth, the capital of Karrnath. Needless to say, his allies are a strange lot...

Aye, so we got on board the rail towards Korth. It's typically a 24 hour trip, all in all, but we ran into the usual problem--lightning storms. Right across th' border between Aundair and Karrnath, there's a big pile of storms that just sit there. So, we had to wait for the lightnin' to die down so we could slip through.

While we were there, the stewards broke out the wine, and gave us the first class treatment. Aye, while Lil and Johnny started in on the wine, Khin, Sparkles, and I broke in on the Broken Temples. I can't say much fer their mixin' ability, but a drink's a drink.

One problem, though--some ol' wench passed out while drinkin' the wine, and so did Johnny. Needless to say, after hearin' about the sleeping drug that the Inspired have been slippin' into drinks, I was a bit concerned. Jackie immediately skitter'd off to investigate...or drink more, I wasn't sure.

At any rate, right while Johnny (freshly revived thanks to some anti-toxin I had on me) started talkin' religion with Khin, myself, and Sparkles, Jackie crashed into the winery and shattered most o' the bottles. Damned fine waste of wine, if you ask me. The waiters were pissed off, but that's their problem.

I tried helpin' Jackie up, but he kept brushin' me off. Damned fool.

Lil, who apparently went with the ol' woman when she passed out, came back three sheets to the wind, ravin' about some out-of-body experiences that the woman'd been havin'. I'd have wrote it off, had Johnny not claimed the same thing once she mentioned it.

From there, things got a bit weird. Jackie locked himself in the bathroom with three o' the waiters, doin' gods-know-what to 'em in there. All I know is that "a man" needs to be a little more subtle with his advances.
He called in Johnny at one point, which got me a little confused, but the gnome mighta said it best--"butt sex." What they do is their business, but hey....I'm not interested.

In the meanwhile, Lil and I put on quite the duet of a great dwarven ballad: "Ale, Wenches, and Axes". Great rendition, and I sang like a rock bat. Also, we took some time to teach the gnome some more alphabet. At least he's up to E now.

Eventually, I did decide to investigate, only to see a grisly sight. Jacko'd offed two o' the buggers already, and was pryin' some answers out of the last one. All I could do was take a piss, grab a mop, and start cleanin' up the mess.

Turns out that the Inspired have been all over the lightning rails, handin' out their pretty poisons. However, there were two more still flittin' about, and I wasn't about to leave Jacko to his own devices. That is, as long as he kept his devices in his pants.

After comin' out and explainin' the situation to the rest of the group, Jackie told us about the last two. I joined him, like I said, along with Johnny, while all the gnome could ask was "How was the butt sex?" Damned if I couldn't breathe from laughing for the next 10 minutes. Crazy illiterate bastard. Crazier sex-addled berk.

Johnny, Jackie and myself took care of the last two. One of 'em managed a cheap shot on Jackie, using a shard o' crystal, but I lit it up with good ol' Kelgore's Fire Bolt, and sent it back into his buddy's chest. No more Inspired on that train!

We managed to hide the bodies and our evidence well enough that they weren't a problem for us anymore. The next day, we pulled into Korth, happier and well-rested.

Khin and I immediately headed for the nearest military office, where our contact ended up: some bee-eatin' Sergeant Toric Dunderline. That damned bastard wasn't keepin' the right records on his imported least, that's what I told him. Damned fool believed me, too...he sent us in the right direction of our missin' professor: the Red Steed Inn.

At the Red Steed, Khin and I pulled rank again, claimin' to be arresting the good Professor and his kidnapper. We ended up settin' up an ambush for the buggers, as they weren't there. However, their room was on the second floor, which made some problems for me.

So, while Lil and Khin stood guard, Sparkles and I grabbed me shovels and headed outside with one o' the professor's empty footlockers. We filled 'er up with good loose earth and pulled it back, just inside o' the door.

Eventually, the kidnapper made his way upstairs, leavin' the prof to the tender mercies of Lil and Khin. As soon as that door opened, I pulled an Earthen Grasp out and kept him still while Jackie-o knocked him on the noggin.

Turns out that the professor, while kidnapped at first....sort of, wanted to be kidnapped. The kidnapper was takin' him to some place called Adar, where the prof would be safe to continue his work. Crotchety old bastard was pissed at us for even looking at his plans, but he lived, once we cut him a deal.

Basic thing is this--after headin' to Adar for a tick, we're gonna head to Xendrik, deep in the south. Anythin' we find there is ours--he pays for our travel and all our expenses. Only thing we gotta worry about is findin' him some Dragonshards. Easier said than done, but when ye have a great prospector like myself on yer side, shards are easy ta find! Them Thrashshk half-orc claim jumpers won't know what hit 'em!

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