The Warlock's Review: "X-Men Origins: Wolverine"

Rare is the movie that I come to with no expectations. As any of the Witt-Folk will tell you, I'm a fiend for movie spoilers. I'm one of those rare jerks that like knowing the ending before anyone else, and will use the utmost of his Google-fu to find out.

However, this entire Summer movie season, I've been ambivalent. Normally, as in years past, I'd be making my "Summer Movie Geekdom Roundup" post, but this year...the whole slate is "blah". Star Trek? The whole reboot looks trite and miserable. I didn't even see the first Transformers movie, so I have no interest in the second, particularly with Shia "The Beef" LeBoeuf at the mainstay. And Harry Potter 6? No, thank you. I refuse to even read the books.

The only real film of any interest to me for this blockbuster season was this weekend's X-Men Origins: Wolverine, to which I entered the theater of this past Sunday....and left with a resounding "Meh."

As you can imagine, the film revolves around the ORIGIN of the iconic X-Man WOLVERINE as he proceeds through the Weapon X storyline, getting a shiny new skeleton and a pile of enemies to boot.

This is now the 4th X-Men film that Hugh Jackman has been a part of, playing (yet again) the titular fuzzy Canucklehead. He comes at the role with non-chalance that says more "been there, done that" than actual interest. The film begins with a montage of himself and Victor Creed (better known as Sabertooth, and played here by Liev Schrieber) fighting their way through the last century and a half, as near-indestructible eternal warriors are wont to do.

The film proper, though, begins with the pair joining up with William Stryker, a conniving little Army major who leads a mutant-based black-ops force into various world "hot spots". Not the least of these places is the Congo, where we find Stryker's team pumping the locals for a rare mineral...adamantium, perhaps?

Ironically enough, the strength of X-Men Origins: Wolverine is not Jackman or Schrieber, though Schrieber does a much fuller job as Sabertooth than his predecessor, Tyler Mane. The supporting cast of the movie shines brighter than its stars, though time and again the scripting and plot hang them out to dry. Ryan Reynolds (of Blade: Trinity noteriety) and Taylor Kitsch (of Friday Night Lights) both deliver as much as they can as fan favorites Deadpool and Gambit, respectively, but they get so little screen time, and are so inconsequential to the plot that they might as well not be in the movie at all. Gambit serves to be little more than a plot device, while Deadpool maybe has 2 lines in the entire movie--so much for "The Merc with the Mouth". Similarly, this movie's 'Agent Zero', serves well as the stoic, gun-for-hire, working for Stryker...but is offed shortly after the Weapon X experiment, leaving the plot without his menace. (And, oh yeah...don't forget your adamantium bullets, Agent Zero--too late, you're dead.) Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas provides a refreshing character, in the teleporting Wraith, but again...he doesn't last throught the majority of the movie.

Therein lies the problem: the scripting. The dialogue of X-Men Origins: Wolverine is laughably bad. As Jackman and Schrieber trade banter before one of their numerous throw-downs, it becomes hard to take the pair seriously, as one tries to out-macho the other. Similarly, random appearences by Cyclops and Emma Frost seem tacked on so badly that, despite her appearance in trailer after trailer, I'm not sure that the actress who played Emma Frost had a single line. They have no point in being a Wolverine movie aside from one niggling detail: fans like them.

The fundamental problem with X-Men Origins: Wolverine lies with the fans. This movie was written by one, and it shows--scriptwriters David Benioff and Skip Woods crammed so many homages and pastiches to comic book minutia into this movie, that it comes out looking like a piece of bad fan-fiction, with a B-list cast. The special effects look cheesy and stilted, particularly through the final portion of the film, as Wolverine fights off 'Weapon XI' at the top of a nuclear reactor cooling tower. Plot holes big enough to drive a truck through permeate this movie.
For example, Gambit drops Wolverine off at "The Island", leaving him to fight on alone...only to return for no reason, just as all the action is ending. Agent Zero, as mentioned, goes to confront the newly-chromed Wolverine with his normal arsenal...while Stryker sits back at base, loading a gun with adamantine bullets, which Zero doesn't have.

In the world of geekdom, Ben "Yahtzee" Crowshaw (of Zero Punctuation fame) has it right. Fans are "clingy, complaining dipshits" that will never be thankful for what you give them. The X-Men movies had a good run, which ended on a mediocre note with The Last Stand. X-Men Origins: Wolverine is nothing more than a new bullet in a dead dog's corpse--pointless, and full of wasted effort.

In Which The Warlock Spins Some Pirate Yarns...

So, our Friday night gamers (including our new arrival!), have decided to give another crack at the previously failed "Pirates of the Underdark" game, which we had originally tried about a year ago. I've been looking forward to actually pulling off this concept for a while, as it's something of an open world concept, but with heavy story elements...much of which are driven by pirate legends and the like. Think "Pirates of the Caribbean" meets "Snatch" meets "Xena: Warrior Princess".

Weirdness, I know.

At any rate, to give you a feel for what this campaign will be like, here's one of our assorted pirate legends, typically told at the Styx Oarsman tavern, at the subterranean island-port of Freeport.

Baron Samhedi, Carrefour, and the Zombi Serum

In the darkest places of the world, there are roads where no man walks. Roads of the mind, of the spirit—the roads and ways of the loa. You’ll tell me they are legends, but I know better. I’ve heard the stories—not the children’s tales told at bedtime, but the real ones. Ones of the walking dead and the black-clad spirit who rides his hougan servants’ minds like on horseback. Ones of ancient creatures and degenerate islanders, who serve none but the loa and their own cannibalistic urges. Ones of the serum of the zombi.

No, not zombie. Zombi. I don’t mean a simple necromancer’s walking corpse. I mean one of the loa, riding the dead like a bucking mule, thrashing through the deck of your ship like a madman, holding the body together as it buckles and bursts with gore. I mean a thing that was once dead, but will not die again. Something you can’t kill.

Some say that the Baron Samhedi first created them—a powerful Voodoun loa who walks by night through the seas, corrupting islanders and turning them into something not quite man and not quite beast.

Some say that a surface man named Carrefour was the Baron’s first servant. He was a fencer, straight out of the Amnish school, who ventured under to seek his fortune. A fop, he thought only of gaining the best, the fastest, the most powerful. When he heard of the loa from a grimlock shaman early on in his cavernous questing, he immediately went out in search of them.

Carrefour found in an ancient subterranean swamp the flower known as “Midnight Romance”. The flower, crimson red and dripping with a green venom, serves as the primary ingredient in the Zombi serum. Carrefour harvested the flower with impeccable care, slicing it from its thorned stalk with his saber.

Carrefour’s first zombi was one of abject failure, screaming hate and gibberish into the Great Dark night. He persevered, though, and created a massive army of the creatures, berserk and maddening to behold. Soon, hundreds of the creatures roamed, mindless and mad, through the Underdark, and fields of the “Midnight Romance” bloomed amidst the shrieking fungus beneath the world.

What Carrefour didn’t count on was the savagery of his creatures. Wandering amongst the thorny vines of his precious flowers, one of his zombi servitors burst from the baskets where it lay and ripped Carrefour apart, strewing blood and gore across the venomous flowers.

Carrefour’s zombi horde dissipated throughout the Great Dark, and the creature was forgotten. The black secrets of Baron Samhedi faded into the background as time went on, and the patches of Midnight Romance grew wild through the deepest depths. This went on for years in silence, with the loa shifting through the spirit world all the while.

That is, at least, until tales of a foppish fencer, wrapped in green-venomed vines, starting to wander through the vast caverns beneath the stalactite-cities of the duergar. Wanderers and border guards disappear with regularity, and the scent of mysterious flowers sometimes fills the great halls of Gracklestugh, the ancient duergar citadel.

The loa? I know they exist. Is Carrefour one? Probably. Does that mean Gracklestugh is overrun? Not as far as I know. I still sell slaves there, and pick up fresh-forged chain to sell to the mind-flayer slavers. Will you believe me after you’ve finished your drink? Well, that’s up to you.

In Which The Warlock Takes a Deep Breath Before the Plunge...

Every year, there's always a lull in the schedule...a calm, once the end of the school year hits and we're gearing up for the Geek Storm itself: Free Comic Book Day, Lionel's Annual End-Of-Year LARP, and Origins.

It's in this lull that I'm usually just gearing up--getting ready for the chaos about to hit the fan. But this time, no...not so much.

Rather, I find myself in the midst of my own planning, trying to get everything together.

Firstly, the minis I ordered for WEGS SuperZ (and some other games) just arrived, which means that I've got to find some way to organize them all. The PlatinumChick is getting a little testy about having 200 odd minis cluttering up the apartment. Q, one of our kitties, keeps stealing them, if we leave them within paw's reach. Sterilite, here I come!

On top of this, I'm in the midst of putting together a full on D&D PvP blast session for some of the guilders. After developing some refresh mechanisms, as well as some random treasure tables for the players, they're getting ready to throw down some nastiness. Here's for hoping that it all goes down well this Sunday!

This is to say nothing of my own baby, "Dungeon Slam!" which is looking at getting a full revision before Origins! With a little luck, we'll throw down some Slam! on one of those late Columbus nights.

On a more serious note, though, I'd like to beg your indulgence for one of our fellow gamers:

Our good friend and fellow Witt-Wegger Nick, known to some of you from "The Life and Times of Nick", was recently involved in a motorcycle accident. It was a low speed crash, and he was lucky to survive. Nick, however, is currently in University of Cincinatti Medical Center, recuperating from significant facial surgery.

If you have a spare moment, give a prayer/thought/meditation/vibe out for Nick, who will hopefully be rolling with us again very quickly. And, if you ride...please, please wear your helmet.

In Which The Warlock Is Unable to Take On His Original Plan...

So, remember my New Year's Resolutions? One of them was to include some images of the minis that the PlatinumChick and I have been painting, all this time.

Unfortunately, that's one resolution that just isn't going to take place. Grrr.

Despite my best efforts, I couldn't get a good picture of my latest attempt--a new figure for one of my favorite characters: Nordling. I finished painting him at our last game night, and really wanted to show off my (really pitiful) painting skills. But, at any rate, I might as well give you the background for him.

Nordling is a perennial character that I play during WEGS games, often frustrating El Willy to no end. Nordling's a "Humz Trickster"--something of a Human Rogue/Thief, if you want to put it in D&D parlance--and always seems to show up in the weirdest of circumstances.

Nordling's biggest quirk is the fact that he's survived every WEGS game I've ever played him in. He lived through his first appearance at "Pigskabb's Skool 4 Wizzards", getting away from Chef ToeGash. He survived the classic "Dwarf Walks Into a Bar", when Ebbs ran for the first time. He escaped from the clutches of the Column-Golem and Cthulhu, in "From Dusk Till Dead". He weaseled his way out of KlattaBarraBoo's tomb (and garnered some multi-classing into Mage, while he was at it!). And, most lately, he managed to sneak away from a wrathful Ring Reaver in "Over the Reaver and Through the Wyrds" at WittCon VI.

It's hard not to celebrate a character's success rate, when it's as high as something like this. In Ebbs' "Pyramid of Shadows" 4e game last year, I couldn't help but laugh when one of our henchmen--yet another human rogue--rolled a stat array that put any of our player characters to shame. That rogue, dubbed "The Goddamned Jim-Bob", became the great-great grandson of Nordling I...who weaseled his way out of Pigskabb's woods all those years ago.

As I've said before...it's no surprise that the cards for Tricksters are in yellow. ;)

At any rate, if I manage to get my camera to cooperate, I'll find a way to put up the pictures of the now-painted Nordling. Till then, some reminiscing will have to suffice...and some plans for the Power Play sessions at Origins. :D

In Which The Warlock Takes a Week Off...

Sorry to get your hopes up, cats and kittens--there's no post this week. It's Spring Break, and I'm relaxing.

I'll be back next week with a look at one of my favorite all-time characters...

Till then, game on!

In Which The Warlock Changes His Persona...Again...

With the demise of "Shadows of the Cold War", Kat has taken up the mantle of GM and is prepping us for our first session of Ravenloft this evening, using an Island of Terror of her own design.

I, for one, am ecstatic. In all my years of GMing--now almost to 15!--no one has ever run Ravenloft for me. I've loved the setting for years, as it was the second D&D setting I'd ever read, but no one would run it. I've run it myself countless times, but few seem to be up to task to put together Gothic Horror with Medieval Fantasy.

That is, until now. So, without further adieu...my Ravenloft character: Nadia Ir'Ralya, burgeoning sorceress!

Name: Nadia Ir’Ralya
Age: 28
Race: Human
Location: Port-a-Lucine, Dementlieu
Parents: Unknown (both). Raised by Varrek Ir’Ralya
Siblings: Unknown
Friends: Camille DelaCroix (deceased), Eriol
Faith: “Gods? Are you kidding me?”
Fav. Food: Blanquette des veau over potatoes, with deep red wine.
Pastimes: Juggling, practical jokes, drinking. When alone, drawing and writing.
Party Role: Stealth and reconnaissance, social skills, raw damage potential.
Strengths: Stealth, high damage capability, high defenses, versatile skill uses.
Weaknesses: Low AC. Low physicality (negative Str).

Background:

Varrek Ir’Ralya was a “second story man” working for the Bleakers—an up-and-coming thieves’ guild in Port-a-Lucine—when he came upon something that he, to this day, has never been able to explain.
Varrek was commissioned by his Guildmaster—the enigmatic Melancholy—to break into a house in the High End. Port-a-Lucine’s High End was the most wealthy and elite district, and this house was no exception. Varrek slipped his way in and began cleaning out the lower floors. When he got to the second floor, though, Varrek had no words to describe the strangeness found there. On the floor, a married couple—still in their bedclothes—lay scorched and bleeding. Scant 5 feet away, though, a young girl of 3 years old—presumably their daughter? –lay sleeping on the floor.
Varrek was immediately faced with a feeling he rarely felt: guilt. Taking the sleeping girl with him, he looted the remainder of the house and made his way back to the Guildhouse. While the Guild Undermaster wasn’t happy with Varrek’s choice, they kept the girl around as something of a mascot at first, but later as a trainee. Nadia, as such, grew up in the absolute roughest of circumstances…and reveled in it. She proved adept at stealth and lockpicking, as well as swindling and baiting hapless men in taverns. Nadia always had an ‘exotic’ loot about her, which attracted many…and often left their purses lighter.
While Nadia enjoyed her work and her training, she had few friends. Among those few were an elf, Eriol, and another orphaned human girl, Camille. Eriol was fun, but had the typical arrogance of the Sithican elves, which made him annoying for long periods of time. Camille, though, was something different. She was wild, like Nadia, and the pair would spar in the training hall with abandon.
However, Nadia was continually haunted by strange dreams—dreams of whirling colors and oozing, amniotic seas, in which…things…swam. In the darkest of these dreams, a hideous figure would float through the sea towards her: a tatterdemalion, but one of royal bearing. A proverbial King in Rags and Tatters. She would often wake up screaming from these dreams, with no one left to comfort her.
The dreams soon became worse, over time. In fact, Nadia began to manifest sorcerer powers as the dreams compounded…which led to tragedy. Nadia, at Camille’s request, tried to keep use of the powers to a minimum—keeping them only for emergencies.
Such an emergency came as the pair, alone with Eriol, attempted to lift a supposed “religious artifact” from the vaults of Councilor Dominic D’honaire, at the request of Guildmaster Melancholy. When the trio was caught by the guards, they attempted to fight their way out, only to be vastly outnumbered. Camille, swiftly surrouned, begged Nadia to use her sorcery. Nadia summoned her mental reserves, blasting out with waves of psychic fire, consuming the guards…and Camille. Nadia shrieked, but the carpets of the vault had begun to catch fire, and Eriol was forced to pull her, still screaming, out of the manor house.
Since that day, Nadia has kept to herself. Guildmaster Melancholy has all but forced her from the ranks of the Bleakers, putting her out on the street as a liability. As such, Nadia has stowed away on the La Perle Volante, believing that a new land might give her a new start. She worries daily about her burgeoning powers and how she possibly learn to control them. She has no friends, only underworld contacts, and feels like this world has abandoned her. If there was only a way to control this raw power, any price may be worth it.

In Which The Warlock Runs Himself Ragged...

I swear, WittCon has the tendency to come around at the absolute worst times of the year.

You see, March is not only right in the middle of spring IEP/MFE renewals for my work, but is also the month in which all my weasels at school take their OGT exam. Needless to say, the stress level is a little high, particularly as WittCon nears, and I prep myself to run games like a madman.

Is it any surprise that I typically try to take the day before the Con off of work, as a personal day? Further, is it any real surprise that I didn't get to do so this year?

But, WittCon VI has come and gone, with a mass of great gaming memories for all. I must say, though, the dice were running more chaotic than usual as the weekend went on!

We began the weekend hitting up Rudy's Barbeque in Springfield with El Willy, before shuffling on over to Shouvlin to throw down my latest completed project: WEGS SuperZ. I was honestly pleased to see how well the thing came out--no doubt, running a reskin of an indie game for its creator is a little unnerving, but a great time was had by all. The party crawled sloughed their way through my intro adventure: "The Terrible Island of Doctor Crab-Clops!", slinging Plasma Blasts and Mental Bursts all the way. While I still have quite a few revisions to make--not the least of which being the 5 SuperZ races!--the game was strong and ran quickly around the table.

The day of WittCon, I started off by running the day's D&D Game Day adventure:
A Dark Night in Weeeping Briar for some of the Guild regulars. This was made even more interesting by the appearance of a Witt Torch reporter, requesting to play with us! She may have gotten more than she bargained for with our group, but it seemed like she had a great time, as the players bounced between encounters, generally breaking the game.

The second encounter of the game took place in a mill. Fire damage, naturally, caused bad things to happen. Naturally, with my luck? Natural 1 on the enemies' first attack roll...with a fire attack. The mill explodes in a fireball. I hang my head.
The third encounter involves several tough demons, led by a Mezzodemon. The party, thinking quickly, layers him down with status effects--dazed, blinded, and then Dominated. Naturally, this led to one drowned demon.

Hanging my head and carting off my minis-swag, I headed to my next game, my much anticipated (and filled!) Dark Heresy game: Survival of the Fittest.

I originally envisioned this game as something of a cross between honest-to-God-Emperor Dark Heresy and Paranoia, as the various Acolytes plotted against one another on the war-world Thanatos IV. Nick's Imperial Psyker, though, had other ideas.

Not once, but twice, he caused warp energy to burst out, incinerating himself and the party. The game was over in a matter of an hour, as the party descended into bloodied in-fighting. I laughed, but simultaneously hung my head. All those hours spent building characters and backgrounds...poof. Alack, alack.

By the time the third session came around, I was ready to kick back. And there's no better way for this gamer to relax than with some WEGS. In a matter of minutes, Nordling VI was well on his way to Arkeation.

Some explanation, I suppose, is in order. Ever since my first game of WEGS, I've nearly always run the same character--a Humz Lucky Trickster named Nordling. Nordling's had an unprecedented survival rate. Despite the lethality of WEGS, he's never died...not once! Even facing down the vicious mummy KlattaBarraBoo, he escaped. This time, he managed to weasel his way away from a RingReaver in El Willy's classic "Over the Reaver and Through the Wyrds".

By Sunday, we were all exhausted and ready to relax. Hitting up Jeet India and Bookery with Karl, Lionel, and El Willy was a welcome relaxation. Kudos to El Willy for getting Bookery aboard the WEGS train!

Oi. Stress and all, this whole con experience just makes me want Origins to come all the more! It's looking like another massive experience this year, cats and kittens!

In Which The Warlock Inadvertently Causes a Mess on Interstate 76...

I am sad. No bones about it; I am disappointed.

My Monday night Heroes Unlimited game--"Shadows of the Cold War"--has gone up in flames. The remains of it are strewn across the north side of Pittsburgh (sorry, Keystone City).

My illustrious players were all set for a pre-planned road trip off to the wild locale of Centralia, Pennsylvania, after being led there by a mysterious message found in the sundry items of their fallen foe, Mr. Kisses. After some horrific happenstances at the Shining Stars Bar, Grille, and Restaurant (run by the always enigmatic Stephen Alzis), they were ready for a new change of scenery.

Unfortunately, they never got that far.

For whatever reason, my players have the horrible tendency to roll miserably when it comes to any Driving test. Regardless of system, every time that they seem to enter a car, their luck seems to fall down an abysmal shaft leading to certain doom. Last night was no different.

In Dark Heresy, a few months ago, my players died in a massive conflagration as they ran their transport into a bar, trying to escape from some gangers on their way to investigate a corrupted morgue. Only one escaped, running panicked through the hive being chased by chain-gun wielding gangers.

This time around, Lockshanks was the one to fall first. Falling asleep at the wheel after a long night of DJing, he skidded CheapShot's van/arsenal into a guardrail, then overcompensated, driving it into a jersey-barrier along I-76, on the northwest side of Keystone City. Two more crashes later, the van's fuel tank blew, with three of the four heroes inside. By that point, the fourth was nothing but a grease smear along the highway.

I must say, I'm really disappointed by all this. While the group has been a little bit off-topic, game was genuinely fun. People were truly into their characters and really heavily role-playing through scenarios. Makes me wish that I didn't "let the dice fall where they may"...

As such, we're switching gears for a tick. For the remainder of the WittKids' semester, we're going to run a few one-shots and give them some shots to GM. It gets them some experience and some more confidence behind the screen.

I'm just going to miss my Monday supers crew. :(

The Warlock's Review: "Watchmen"

Anticipation is a funny thing. While the high expectations it creates often lead to heartache, the lead-up and hype for a movie often lend it even more weight once it hits the box office.

Watchmen has been among my most anticipated movies since it was announced nearly two years ago. When its release was nearly held up by 20th Century Fox, I was aghast. When the first trailer aired, pulsing along to a Smashing Pumpkins anti-ballad, I was in awe. And now, having seen it...

...it's honestly hard to breathe. As a fan, it's utterly mind-blowing.

In all honesty, never before has a "comic-book movie" been as faithful to its source as Watchmen. To be honest, I cannot envision another movie challenging it on this front. Scenes directly from the book are placed on screen one after another. Director Zack Snyder is flawless in this respect--his adoration for the book itself is phenomenal.

Several other critics have criticised this, both on the front that he has "embalmed" the movie (i.e. staying too close to the source material), or that his changes, made for time (the movie is nearly 3 hours, without the cuts!) were not faithful to his overall vision. Considering both arguments, as well as my own opinion, I dare say that he managed to walk a fine line in this respect. While changes to the book are present, they're dealt with smoothly and without hassle. However, scene after scene are pulled directly from the book.

I'm jumping ahead of myself. If you haven't read the book, or have much familiarity with the universe at this point, here's the basic summary. In 1977, the Keene Act is passed, banning acts of "masked vigilantism" following a massive police strike. Vigilantes have been active since WWII, impacting history in various ways, including the accidental creation of the first actual superhero, known as Dr. Manhattan (and played in a perfectly stoic manner by Billy Crudup). It's now 1985, and someone has started killing former vigilantes, starting with the fascistic gun-nut The Comedian (Jeffery Dean Morgan). Rorschach, a sociopathic (and still active) vigilante played by Jackie Earle Haley, begins to investigate.

As I said, the scenes are literally pulled straight from the graphic novel, and thus have a grim, edgy tone suited to this alternate history tale. Haley's gravelly tone narrates us through the world via Rorschach's journal, as he attempts to warn his fellow heroes. At the top of the list is Dan Dreiberg, better known as Nite-Owl (Patrick Wilson), who has fallen into despondancy and impotency.

By and large, the portrayals in this movie are near flawless. Haley's Rorschach oozes with loathing and menace, while Nite-Owl's near-fetishistic obsession with the costumed lifestyle display him as torn between his desire for a normal life and his primal need for the adrenaline rush of adventuring.

Opposite Nite-Owl is Malin Ackerman's Silk Spectre II, forced into the costumed lifestyle by her mother (Carla Gugino), now aging in a rest home. While Ackerman's portrayal is adequate, it does not carry the emotional weight of Haley's narration, Morgan's psychopathic violence, or Wilson's despondancy. The only truly poor performance I would assess for this film is Gugino's, which centers primarily around her age. The elder Silk Spectre simply does not look the part, particularly in the 1985 sections, where she looks just as old as her daughter, instead of 40 years older. Her delivery--too energetic and youthful--only exacerbates this feeling.

One of the few flaws I can find with this movie is with the sheer level of graphic violence in Watchmen. I had gone in knowing much about the violence, having read the book numerous times, but I was not quite prepared for the sheer intensity of the gore in this film. Fight scenes are choreographed with no punches pulled, and no strength unused. During a fight with some street thugs, Nite-Owl breaks a foe's elbow, cracking it in a hideous compound fracture. When invading a mob speakeasy, a gesture from Dr. Manhattan splatters gun-toting mobsters across the room. If you are weak of heart or faint of stomach, even the first scene--wherein the aging Comedian fights for his life and falls to an unseen assailant in his apartment--will sit ill with you.

Snyder pulled no punches with his violence, and I can respect that, but I do question the necessity of it. Whereas the book is just as violent, many of the actions are 'between panels', where it is understood what happens--a typical Shakespearean motion. On screen, the actions overshoot their visceral intent and roam into the unnecessary. The same can be said of the sex scene between Ackerman and Wilson, high above New York aboard the OwlShip. Were the scene half as long, it would have had the same impact--the sheer length and graphicness of it overshoots its intent.

Much has further been made of Watchmen's soundtrack, which brings together an ecletic series of tunes from across the late 20th century. However, I was more impressed by the score itself, penned by Tyler Bates. The background music was more subtle than expected, yet held a great deal of menace, particularly throughout Rorschach's theme, as well as that of Ozymandias, the adventurer-turned-businessman played adequately by Matthew Goode. While I own most of the soundtrack's songs as it is now--yay for being a classic rock junkie--I fully intend to go find the score itself as soon as I'm done here.

All in all, Watchmen is a difficult movie not to recommend. It is utterly faithful to its source material, and the experience of watching it is much like watching a horrifying accident. The story itself is midnight-black, which makes it hard to watch, when shown in all its glory on the screen. If you can stomach through the intensity of the violence, the movie will leave you stunned, with your jaw on the floor. It is, quite literally, the best (and most likely) fulfillment of the comic book lovers' dream.

In Which The Warlock Succumbs to the Inevitable...

When D&D 4e came out, one of their largest pushes was for the traditionally table-top game to take a step into the digital world, in a large way. Dungeon and Dragon, the flagship magazines of role-playing, were taken out of circulation, only to be replaced with online editions as part of something enigmatic known as "D&D Insider". At the announcement, other nebulous features were shown off...a 'virtual miniature' generator, an online table utility with chat functions, a character generator, and several other features.

And it was met, by and large, with a resounding "WTF?!"

As it seemed, people didn't exactly like Wizards of the Coast futzing around with their beloved magazines. And who would need an online game table, when it's much more fun to sit around a real one? And there were tons of character generators out there--why pay for one?

Nerdrage poured forth like a rushing river, as WotC slowly trickled out updates to their "D&D Insider" and Gleemax--their failed attempt at a social networking site--bit the dust. And all of it was free, so every angry geek with a wi-fi connection could dance on the monolithic industry's corpse...or so it seemed to said weaselous buggers.

I'll admit--I wasn't happy when the two magazines went to online-only format, but I was relatively neutral in the wars between pro- and anti-Insider gamer geeks. That is, until recently.

Both L-train and I finally broke down and purchased 1 year memberships to D&D Insider--at just around $5 per month, it cost me approximately $60 for one year of content, which granted me access to the Character Generator software, issues of both online magazines, several online utilities, and all preview articles (only about half of which are accessible to non-Insider visitors).

I came across this somewhat skeptically, as I wasn't sure exactly what I was...wanting. I used HeroForge, primarily, for character generation, and the magazine articles did not seem to increase in quality compared to the days of Paizo.

I'll admit now, I was utterly wrong.

The official character generator--built from the online compendium (another benefit of Insider membership--is updated monthly, and features a database of selectable WotC products, usable by campaign. The generator is intuitive to use, and is graphically smooth, allowing you even to import your own photos to attach to characters. Even without going through any sort of tutorial or help system, I was able to create a 30th level character, complete with level-appropriate gear, in about 20 minutes.

20 minutes?! Hell's bells--I was ecstatic! This sort of thing would take me hours to do by hand, or even in HeroForge. And, what's more, the Generator tells you whether the character is RPGA legal, auto-calculates all of the math for you (which has led to some player-favoring error-solving in L-train's game), and creates a beautifully laid-out character sheet complete with character cards.

While the character generator does lack a "Create a Character of X Level" option, which would make it perfect, the leveling system is of sufficient speed and quality to make it almost unnecessary. Seriously--it's that good.

That alone would be worth my $60, considering that it updates with all WotC products each month, but the magazine articles have seriously been increasing in quality. One of my favorites has been the "Wish Upon A Star" article, beefing Star Pact Warlocks--Ia!--but there are numerous others that bear mentioning.

In all truth, I'm completely satisfied with my Insider subscription, and have no regrets on it whatsoever. I look forward to what comes next very eagerly...surrounding nerdrage notwithstanding.

In Which The Warlock Uses His Time Productively...

One of the nice things about being an English teacher is the fact that once you set your kids on a research project, your days are pretty much just troubleshooting. There's no real "lesson planning", per se; it's all much more of helping each kid at whatever step that they're at. Because of this, I've had a significantly larger amount of "free-ish time" during my teaching day...which I've put to good use, of course!

Firstly, I managed to get some of my revisions for Dungeon Slam! done. On the 4th draft now, I managed to re-build all of the character cards from scratch. One of the biggest problems with the current incarnation is the amount of tokens necessary for Health and Arcana. Rather than tracking them with tokens, though, I now have a slider at the top and bottom of each character card--one for each stat. So now, players only need one token, which they can slide to their current Health and Arcana, and adjust as necessary.

Also, I've been reformatting many of the skills. Some of them were just outright too damned good. Others, like the Alchemists' Unique Skill--Brewmaster--were utterly weak. I've worked towards balancing these, but the results have yet to show fruit--that's what playtesting is for, children!

That said, the easy part is over with. The (much) harder part is to rebuild the monsters, the items, and the skills. That comes next...proably over spring break!

Speaking of playtesting, though, I also managed to finish my work on something that's currently being referred to as WEGS SuperZ Alpha. While I can't say too much about this one, mainly due to some unsurity on how it exactly fits into El Willy's WEGS-verse and the like, I can say that the first playtest went swimmingly! We had some issues with the Braintrust character, who was way overpowered, using Napalm Blast over and over, as well as with the Health and Spoint regeneration General Skills, but by and large, the Arks were performing exactly as intended!

Finally, I managed to finally put together enough cash for a subscription to Dungeons and Dragons Insider--Wizards of the Coast's online initiative for D&D 4e. My first impressions, thusfar, have been really positive, particularly with the Character Generator, but I haven't had my subscription long enough to provide a full review--expect one next week, cats and kittens.

So, what have we learned? When your kids are pretty much autonomous, you can just let 'em roll and get on with what's important: gaming!

In Which the Warlock Learns from His Pain...

I have learned to dread Christmas. For the last two years, my beloved (and if you can't hear the sarcasm dripping off of that word, you're deaf!) Witt-Weggers have felt it necessary to 'gift' me with movies at each YuleTide. Now, by movies, I don't mean new releases, or the various blockbusters I've blogged about while here. Nor do I mean movie classics like Excalibur or Apocalypse Now.

I mean horrible, decrepit pieces of filth...the likes of which are not fit for human eyes. I mean movies like Blood Gnome, Elektra, and the dreaded Transmorphers.

You'll note that I don't link any of these. This is for your own protection. If you are so foolish as to look up any of these...well, do so at your own risk.

This tradition culminated this week with Wittenberg Role-Playing Guild's first ever "Iron Butt, Iron Gut" Marathon. Three of the worst movies ever made, in order, on Valentines' Day evening. While the task was a difficult one: Transmorphers followed by Mazes and Monsters, then ending with Dragonlance: Dragons of Autumn Twilight, we survived (relatively) unscathed.

However, my enduring mental anguish has not gone by without some amount of learning. If anything else, each horrible flick has taught me a valuable lesson for GMing, which I share with you now...so that these movies may forever be buried and forgotten.

Zardoz--It doesn't matter how rich a world you create or how vast a world you populate; if no one can understand what the hell you're talking about, it's a lost cause anyway.

Mazes and Monsters--Plot twists are simultaneously overrated and underappreciated. Keep your players on their toes and they won't see the train through the coming headlights.

Idiocracy--Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large numbers.

Dragonlance: DoAT--Lens flares make everything better. That is, I mean...you can have all of the voice talent in the world, but if your NPCs have dialogue that makes them sound like cardboard cutouts, your players will still be miserable.

Death Race 2000--Orwellian corporations controlling Roman-style deathmatches, regardless of arena, is an over-used trope. Just once, throw in a mega-corporation that generally HAS the world's best interest in mine, and see how your players squirm!

Flesh Gordon--Captured PCs are fun PCs because they're out of their element. While it's always a plus to see a group at their strongest, sometimes the best role-playing moments come out of when they have to improvise to survive.

SS DoomTrooper--Killing Nazis is always fun. Doesn't matter what system.

Raptor--Always have your setting details in order. Nothing's more infuriating than not being able to figure out what county your crime scene's actually in...to say nothing of "brushing" for fingerprints...

Transmorphers--In all games, the special effects are key. Magic, psionics, super-powers, Cthulhian spells, what have you...if they sound fake in your descriptions, they look fake in the minds' eye of your players. Describe!
Oh, and make sure your sounds syncs up...

In Which The Warlock's Dice Fall on Natural 20!

So, with a few exceptions, everything's been coming up Aces out here in Witt-Wegger land, which leaves me barely able to catch my breath, with all the madness that's ensuing. While work's been a bear recently, with multiple in-services and a massive state-qualifying debate tournament to judge, there's been a lot to celebrate out here!

First off, WittCon VI: "Have you Hugged an Orc Today?" is officially a WorldWide D&D Game Day premier site! We've already received the downloadable registration pack, complete with the scenario, characters, and even a trivia pack. While I haven't read the info thoroughly, I'm looking forward to busting out this scenario on some hapless adventurers on March 21st!

Further, I've finally decided what I actually want to run at this year's WittCon. While I've been tempted to run another session of Dungeon Slam!, I've been doing a lot of playtesting on the weekly game nights, which makes it a little less...well, novel. I had kicked around doing straight up 4e, perhaps with a Ravenloft or Planescape twist, but with the WorldWide D&D Game Day info coming through, that option's already covered. I had kicked around doing Stargate or Conan d20, but...eh. Nothing was coming to mind. And with Jules already planning a trip to Zendik Farms for her Call of Cthluhu game, what was left?

Oh yes...Dark Heresy! Indeed, we return to the depths of the Warp with a wicked little scenario I'm calling "Survival of the Fittest". Players will be in the role of Acolytes, searching for missing Inquisitor Xanthippus, who disappeared on the war-ravaged world of Thanatos during an Orkish invasion. But, as always, things are not as they seem...

On the plus side, my Monday Heroes Unlimited game has been utterly rolling. Our first session was spent getting the group together, as they investigated a mysterious warehouse housing a crime scene, which seems to be off of both the mob's and the polices' books. Kat's psychic, based on Scheherezade of the "1001 Arabian Nights", is slowly losing her grip on Sanity, as she delves into Object Reading and the like, while Will's Austrian strongman Manifesto utterly devastated some nosy dockworkers...

And oh, I can't wait for the arrival of my villain....they call him Mr. Kisses... :D

The only real down-side to recent events is that last year's WittCon vendor, Bob "Don't Call Him the Diceman" Kindle, was unable to make it down for this year's event. Hopefully, as the dread date nears, we'll have someone out for all your gaming supply needs!

In Which The Warlock is Astounded by Circumstance...

So, planning is well-underway on WittCon VI: "Have You Hugged An Orc Today?" The schedule for events is taking shape, and the designs for this year's T-shirt are slowly being formulated. Yet again, we'll be looking forward to a visit from the one and only El Willy and his WEGSing krew, as well as from our friendly neighborhood Reaper Minis rep, Shane.

Ironically, though, this year's WittCon falls on the same day as many auspicious events! Our theme this year, "Have you Hugged An Orc Today?", comes directly from the UN's International Day for the Elimination of Racial Discrimination, though that's not all...
March 21st is also UNESCO World Poetry Day, Ba'hai and Iranian New Year's Day, the Vernal Equinox, and Namibian Independence Day.

All of that...feh. No big whoop. But..for a gaming convention...only one major concurrent holiday might matter: Worldwide D&D Game Day!

Yes, devoted readers, we're currently in the works to hold honest-to-God, RPGA-official, 4e D&D, fresh from Wizards of the Coast at your favorite neighborhood college con. Will we succeed? I sure hope so!

In Which The Warlock Looks Forward to the Coming Months...

Finally, back on time! Naturally, I'm procastinating from my usual work, but that's life...I'm used to it.

I must say, though, I am utterly excited. This part of the year always stands as the beginning of great things across the board, but particularly in gaming terms.

First off, there's the upcoming gaming. With "Shadows of the Cold War" about to start, and Fred's 4e game in full swing, I'm up to my eyeballs in great gaming. Twice a week, at least? Can't beat it with a stick.

Further, I managed to sneak in a little playtesting of Dungeon Slam! this weekend, as well. While many of the issues that came up have been ones I'm much aware of--relative weakness of spellcasters, need for more Health and Arcana, overall game speed--this game was an utter success, as the players really went for the throat on the PvP. Between the Malevelolent Teleporter uses (which are just a touch overpowered), the Astral Thievery, and the utter wrath with which players went after one another...the game was fantastically played! I was utterly amazed at the virulence with which they went at it! When the Martial Artist got marooned in Skull Sanctum after having used Resist Arcana on several other players, I was laughing my head off! Karma works, children!

What amazed me most about all this was the fact that, with one exception, all of these players were brand new! Within the span of one evening, they caught onto the game faster than even some of the veterans I've had play. With no lies, I've never seen the Swashbuckler played as well as the way he was this past time. The player said it seemed somewhat broken, but I had to break it to him--the way he was rolling was exactly the way I'd intended it! He just stumbled onto some great combinations!

This gives me some real promise for the upcoming revision of DS. I really want to pump out a new revision before WittCon VI, which is coming up in March. Can't wait for that!

Further, the great Con season begins again! February begins with UD Con, over at University of Dayton, followed by WittCon VI in March, and then GloryCon after that...

...can't beat the gaming, particularly at Origins after that! :D

In Which The Warlock Fails His Saving Throw vs. Poison...

Apologies on the delay, faithful readers. I realize that when I post late, I usually open with an apology but this time...I have a legitimate excuse: food poisoning.

You see, your friendly-neighborhood Warlock has given up pop--carbonated beverages have been kept at a minimum since October, and I've kept to that pretty well by sticking to Kool-Aid and juice. Unfortunately, it was the latter that caught up with me. By the time that I was 3/4 of the way through the juice bottle...Jules had noted that it was over 3 months expired.

I, consequently, spent the last three days unable to eat anything, and have been pretty much latched to the toilet.

On the plus side, I am much on the mend and am looking forward to a full weekend of geekdom to come. On the downside, though, I missed out on much of last weekend's festivities...which included a portion of a visit from my former roommate, Karl!

However, we did have some time to wedge in a WEGS scenario--based on the D&D Tiny Adventures creation "The Haunted Streets of Agamentar--with some sweet LEGO props! I joined him behind the screen at first, but when a player had to leave early...it was up to Nordling the XIV to take to the fore!

Unfortunately for Nordling and his krew...the odds and gods were not on their sides. In the crypt of a dread lich, they fell quickly and mercilessly beneath no less than 5 consecutive Good Shots by Karl's dice...

Never fear, though! This Saturday brings some more "Dungeon Slam!" and hopefully some karmatic vengeance!

The Warlock's Review: "Manual of the Planes"

I took a little bit of heat from gaming-buddy Nick, when I didn't update this Sunday, but I wanted to make sure that I had all of my ducks in a row before putting forward this post. Believe it or not, I actually had to do some research for this one.

One of my favorite things regarding the entirety of D&D, since I began playing, has been the cosmological aspect of it. The Great Wheel, in particular, was one of my favorite concepts--the simple idea that there was a verisimilitude within the cosmos, between the various Heavens and Hells out there. Fittingly, one of my favorite campaign settings has been Planescape, with its wacky, Victorian philosophical factions, its plane-hopping nature, and the omnipresent city of Sigil looming overhead.

When 4e came out, I was slightly perturbed that The Great Wheel, a D&D institution since First Edition, went the way of the dodo. In fact, I asked Mike Mearls about this change, last year at Origins, just after 4e's release. While he was not able to give me a whole lot of solace in this regard, I kept an optimistic outlook regarding the new cosmology, and was looking forward to this release greatly.

One of the reasons for my optimism was newness. The Feywild, The Shadowfell, the Elemental Chaos...all of these seemed to reek of the old Modernist adage, "Make it new!" Unfortunately, upon my reading, this seems not to be the case.

Manual of the Planes, in format, is a typical 160 page, full-color, hardcover release from Wizards of the Coast, with all the high quality that comes with it. WotC is the gold standard for book design in the RPG world, and has been since 3e, and nothing has changed here. I could even overlook the reused 3eartwork, if not for a few major sections...

My geek senses kicked off in this regard as I read (ironically enough) the section on Sigil. As I read, I could have sworn that I had read the section before, despite the fact that this was the first read through of 4e's Manual of the Planes that I had done. Then I realized it!

the text for Sigil, as well as the City of Brass and several other locations, was taken nearly word for word from 3e's Manual of the Planes and the Planar Handbook

To say the least, I was chagrined. I was promised newness, and this was borderline plagarism. Entire sections of text were copy-pasted, with changes only made to eliminate 3e mechanics. For example, text was copy-pasted on the City of Brass's architecture, but the 4e version is shorter only due to the Planar Handbook's mention of "Continual flame spells"--something that no longer exists in 4e.

Lazy writing aside, I was further surprised by the utterly laziness in design decisions on the creators' choices. The Elemental Chaos was promised to be a "more accessible" elemental plane system, but the only three locations presented therein are ZerthAd'Lun (a githyanki city), the aforementioned City of Brass, and a few Abyssal layers--all of which had seen extensive treatment in prior books, both 3e and 4e. Nothing new.

While I was pleased with the creativity showing in the Feywild section--based around pseudo-Celtic fey courts and the 4 seasons--this pleasure swiftly dimmed in my reading of the following section on the Shadowfell. If you know me at all, you know my games tend towards darker themes (Ravenloft, anyone?), so the idea of the Shadowfell had peaked my interest. However, despite the fact that its chapter is a full page longer than that of the Feywild (16 pages, compared to 15), it includes only 1 locale, and few other stats. Oh, and the Dread Emperor gets a full page...that wonderful throwback to the decidedly mediocre Book of Vile Darkness. Yeech.

There were bright spots in this book, primarily in the new material. The "domain of night", Tytherion, was an intreguing addition, and the inclusion of various fey demesenes were a plus. By and large, though, these areas were hit or miss. Shom, a blinding desert wasteland, is included, but few details are given save that it was once the home of the illumian empire. Were illumians really so popular that they needed a one-page entry? Somehow I doubt it. It would have been nice to see that page, and other wasted space, go towards giving Far Realm (a fan, and personal, favorite) a better treatment--it currently gets 3/4 of a page, with a sidebar on Mak Thuum Ngatha--or, for that matter, a section on Dreamspace or more information on spelljammers, which only get touched on.

Players get a wee bit of material at the end of the book, with a handful of paragon paths based on the planes. However, this chapter feels tacked on, and really brings little to the party in terms of creativity. It feels as if the designers each picked a core class and a plane, then cobbled together a paragon path to combine them. And the Doomguard reference in the fighter entry? It might have been nice had factions actually been discussed in any length in this book, but such was not the case.

All in all, Manual of the Planes is a decidedly mediocre book, made worse by recycled material, a lack of focus, and a dearth of usable campaign hooks and the like. While the Feywild section was strong, it's the lone real jewel in a sea of muddy water. I still love the mechanics of 4e, but right now, the 'fluff' of the system has yet to sell me.

In Which The Warlock Realizes Some Irony...

...immediately after commending myself about my ability to update on time, this update is, of course, late. Oi. *hangs head* It's life.

But, on a more positive spin, things are finally rolling in our Friday night game. Unsere, my tiefling artificer/swordmage, is utterly fed up with getting followed around by everyone in sight, but at least she's finding her way out of Thromstorm! However, I can't help but feel just a touch of frustration, as what I had originally intended to be a more "supporting" character seems to be turning into the plot's lead. *shrug* That's the way of things, some days. Nothing like a 'reluctant hero' archetype!

Further positive, I've set myself on using Heroes Unlimited 2e Revised for my Watchmen/Call of Cthulhu game. Looking onto the rules, they're not quite so clunky as to shy the newbies to Palladium away, and it's definitely the best fit for the setting's feel.

That said, I'm definitely going to pare out some of the "bigger" powers, to fit with the feel of the world. I just can't imagine Nite-Owl or Silk Spectre roaming around with someone with "Alter Physical Structure: Plasma", who can melt through steel walls with his bare hands. I mean, the whole point of Dr. Manhattan was the fact that he was one-of-a-kind. Doesn't make much sense to populate the whole world with Captain Atom!

One of my bigger difficulties comes from the grafting of the Sanity system onto the Palladium stats. While "Mental Endurance" seems to be a great place to start, the character classes that rely on it most heavily--Mystics and Psionics--should be the first ones to go crazy, not the last! I think I may end up using an average of all mental stats, to form the Sanity base, but I'm still undecided.
We shall see, I suppose!

Next post? My 4e Manual of the Planes review!

In Which The Warlock Celebrates His Centennial!

Well, devoted readers--oh, few of you!--we've reached our first real milestone. This, right here, is my 100th blog entry, and (almost) my 2 year blogging anniversary.

Well, I suppose I can't actually say the latter portion. I held a personal blog during college, which promptly disappeared, as the blog-service that I was using vanished. However, it's nearly the 2 year anniversary of this blog, so it warrants celebration.

To be perfectly honest, I'm somewhat surprised that I've been as on-time and as up-to-date with this blog as I have been. Averaged out, 100 entries over 2 years is almost exactly 1 update per week. Now, you and I both know that's not exactly the case--this past Origins alone had daily posts, which skews the average quite a bit--but still! Success!

I really wasn't sure what to write in this entry, though, to be perfectly honest. But, with it being New Year's Eve...I figured that I might as well go ahead with some New Year's Gaming Resolution:

1. Keep updating on-time! Been doing well so far, but Sunday's the day to shoot for...

2. A stronger focus on writing. Managing game design with Dungeon Slam!, writing up campaigns and WEGS Supers ideas, and doing the whole 'teaching thing' isn't exactly easy, but it's a balance that's gotta be struck. I can't just leave Dungeon Slam! as a summer project! Doesn't work that way...

3. More gaming-based reviews. While the movie reviews this year were a nice change--particularly considering the utterly loaded summer blockbuster season--this is a gaming blog...sort of. Speaking of, I've got some strong opinions on WotC's 4e Manual of the Planes that need to be divulged...to say nothing of some other recent purchases.

4. More insight into design. Some of my favorite entries of the past two years have been the ones based around understanding the principles of game design, as well as observations on the practical application of these. I remember particularly the entry on "how the Warlock changed 3e/4e"...that was glorious.

5. More pictures! Especially with how much the PlatinumChick and I have been painting, it'd be nice to set up a weekly painting progress book!

6. More "tales from the table" With a weekly D&D game once more, and my Watchmen-esque Call of Cthulhu/Heroes Unlimited game coming en route, there'll be plenty of gaming tales to be had. Here's for seeing some of those here!

Cheers, all! Happy New Year! Good gaming to all, and to all...well, something they enjoy, I suppose.

The Warlock's Review: "Munchkin Quest" by Steve Jackson Games

When Munchkin Quest was announced formally, just about a year or so ago, I had already known about it--there were whisperings of it at Origins 2007, and there was a little bit of available for demo, on the final day of said convention.

This didn't stop me, mind you, but there was a little bit of a niggling doubt in the back of my head as I began work on Dungeon Slam!, asking me "Why are you going to start on a tile-based, backstabbing, dungeon-crawler boardgame when Steve Jackson--a man much more important than you--is about to do the same thing?"

My mental response was, of course, "huh?"

In this case, ignorance was the correct answer. While Munchkin Quest does a good job of putting forward the base Munchkin card game as a board game, it leaves much to be desired as a real dungeon-crawl.

Munchkin Quest begins just as the card game begins, with the characters at level 1, and they're quickly trying to blast their way through a series of monsters on their way to hitting level 10. While I only played the 2 player version of the game, I felt like the quintessential "backstabbing" of Munchkin was almost completely absent. Lionel and I spend most of our time on opposite ends of the dungeon, only staying together long enough to help each other through the lower levels.

While the Munchkin Quest game was a fun little diversion, it loses much of the simplicity of its card game predecessor. In addition to the expandable board--quite colorfully and boldly done in laminated cardboard, the sheer number of pieces and cards becomes almost mind-boggling. Lionel owns a 6 person dining room suite, and we very nearly took up the whole of it with the various pieces, cards and room tiles. That's a feat that Arkham Horror has a hard time doing, even with the 4 expansions it has!

Coupled with the sheer volume comes the complexity of the game itself. There are something along the lines of 5-7 major phases to each person's turn--again, longer than even an Arkham Horror. One of the more needless phases to me seemed to the monster movement--set to a colored die, the movement of each monster is determined by what color entrances and exits are lableled on the room tile that it is on, as well as whether the hallway pieces are "doors", "locked doors" or "secret doors". And this has to be done for each monster! This was a little much for me...

Similarly, each individual turn seems to last an inordinate amount of time. Despite only having 3 movement points, I (as a 3rd-4th level character) fought 5 monsters in one turn, looted 3 different rooms and bought and sold items. This is to say nothing of the massive amount of "Treasure" and "Deus Ex Munchkin" cards that I had gained through this, and consequently had to read and wrangle.

The raw simplicity of Munchkin was just...gone. Sylish, yes, and definitely capturing the feel of the original game, but there's just too much here. Speaking as someone who loves piece-heavy board games--again, AH is one of my favorites--the sheer volume of items, pieces, and tiles here make Munchkin Quest more tedious than anything else.

If you're a fan of the game, you'll definitely enjoy it. I was, once upon a time, and would have reveled in this game, had it come out 4 years ago. But now...it's a bloated, overly complex inflation of Jackson's storied franchise.

...At least I don't have to worry about Dungeon Slam! being too similar!

Bonus Post! In Which The Warlock CrossDresses for his New Game...

I figure that I've been running behind on posts, so here's a bonus one. Our Friday night game has a new DM--Fred, who wanted some tweaks to the 4e system to make it more classless, and more RP-oriented. I had originally come up with two ideas--a flail-wielding elf fighter trying to rectify the situation between his estranged elven homeland and his former mercenary company, who was bent on invading said homeland, or an amoral human warlock raised by a thieves' guild and trying desperately to escape the consequences of her pact.

As such, I ended up rolling neither.... Naturally. :D

Below, is my newest character. It's been a while since I've played a female, so this should provide for something interesting...

Name: Unsere Sehkmet-Sabath
Alignment: Good, with slight Neutral Leanings
Age and Gender: 27, Female

Appearance:
Tomboyish, with a green ponytail and wire-rimmed glasses. Slight of build (5’3”, 120lbs.) Often wearing work-gear (overalls and the like), or grease-smudged traveling pants and comfortable shirts. Always wearing a belt full of pouches and various tools. Carries a bastard sword on her back.

Pop Culture Inspirations:
Lucca from Chrono Trigger.
Pepper Potts (Iron Man film)
New Hawkeye (Young Avengers comic book series)
Huntress (DC Comics)

CatchPhrases:
“Let’s go to work…”
“Science H. Logic!”
“A little magic can solve this…”
“Just like back in Applied Alchemy…”

Upbringing:
Born to a family of tieflings outside of Thromstorm, Unsere was very much a city girl. Roaming the streets was commonplace for her, weaving through the foundries of the city, and marveling at the various arcanotechnological devices being wrought around her. Unsere was the only child of Thamuz and his wife Shabriri. When Unsere was 6, her mother—having developed several psychoses that were designated untreatable—was institutionalized. As such, Unsere often was unable to attend school and was treated to ‘on-the-job’ training the in the Calixis forges with her father, who raised her primarily.

Adult Life:
Unsere attended the Great Academy of Thromstorm at 16, where she excelled in their arcanoengineering program. She also excelled as a fencer, preferring a longer bastard-sword to negate her foes’ often-longer reach. Following her graduation, she signed on with the Thar Acquisitions Company, who routinely sought various arcane supplies—mainly mithril ore, adamantine, and deep crystal—from the nearby Underdark mines. Unsere was one of several teams of ‘materials experts’ who were sought not just to procure high quality shipments, but also to defend them against possible incursion. She has made several contacts with the deep dwarves, tieflings, and even drow of the Underdark because of this. As such, she has often come into conflict with rival companies and with human bandits/claimjumpers from Undermine. Because of this, she was asked to take her first life in the line of duty—a human claimjumper.

Following this event, which haunted Unsere dearly, she resigned from Thar Acquisitions, gaining a position as an ArcanoEngineer at Gyrosys Fabrications, which specialized in golem and automaton creation. She was promoted to Lead ArcanoEngineer in her department approximately one year ago. However, Unsere has recently been finding significant errors and re-routed funding within the department she oversees at Gyrosys. These errors, of course, are the result of her supervisor, Kezar Uzarisa, who has been overseeing the creation of a new project—the merging of a stolen soul into a golem-shell…something known as Project Warforged.

Occupation:
Previously—-Acquisitions Expert and Material Procurer, Thar Acquisitions.
Currently—-Arcanoengineer, Gyrosys Fabrications—Engineering Division.

Religion:
Follows: “Science!”
Worship: No particular deity, though has been known to curse Gond Clockmaker at times.
At odds: Racial deities tend to rub the wrong way (Moradin, Corellon, etc.)

Family:
Father: Thamuz—Elemental forger, Calixis Corp.
Mother: Shabriri—Currently institutionalized at Shal-Dei Asylum.
Siblings: None.

Life Events:
Mother’s Institutionalization at age 6.
Graduation from Great Academy of Thromstorm at age 21.
First actual ‘career’, at age 22 (Thar Acquisitions)
First life taken, at age 22—a human claimjumper, from Undermine.
New job, at age 26—Gyrosys Fabrications, Engineering Division.
Promotion, at age 26—Lead ArcanoEngineer, Gyrosys Fabrications.
Discovery of anomalies in Gyrosys records—3 weeks ago (age 27).
Activation of Sheathan—current!

Networking:
Friends in Thar Acquisitions (Dwarves/Tieflings, primarily)
Business contacts among mining purveyors around Tornia.
Former professors at Great Academy of Thromstorm
Best friend/fencing partner, Daria Majestrix.

Enemies:
Near entirety of Gyrosys Fabrications.
Thromstorm militia and guard.
Kezar Uzarisa—Head of ArcanoExperimentation, Gyrosys.

Goals:
--Greater understanding of magics, and they way they work with the world around them.
--Understanding of the fiendish/elemental origins of magic, and the role of the sentient races within that.
--Comprehension of the sentience of Sheathan, as well as Kezar’s role within his creation.
--Discovery of whether Sheathen is, in fact, an actual soul.
--Escape the Thromstorm militia, and the far reach of Gyrosys.
--Find a way to treat Mom.

Social Int.
--Incredibly curious, particularly regarding Arcane magic and Arcanotech.
--Generally optimistic, though growing frustrated with continual lack of fairness.
--Believes in social justice, fairness, generally kind…
--Overly trusting. While nice, she’s not particularly “wise”.
--Easily embarrassed, particularly in risque situations.
--Somewhat tomboyish, and something of a ‘grease-monkey’.

Decisions:
--Can be flustered easily, but very determined once a course of action is chosen.
--Tries to be law abiding, in most things. Will break ‘minor’ laws without thinking.
--Feels for many ‘victims’—hospital victims, orphans (people who have been in her position)
--Absolutely fearful in asylums and the like.

Mannerisms:
Often gets nervous and stammers, if does not know what to do in a given situation.
Does not like bloodshed, if other sentient beings are involved—believes in right to life.
Enjoys cats and other small animals (would have had a familiar, in 3.5e)
Fascinated by any major arcane or arcanotechnological device—will spend hours enjoying them.

The Warlock's Holiday Schedule Unfurled...

As the holiday season rolls through, everyone finds things more hectic. Same old thing, here. With grades rolling through, and final projects getting turned in, the teaching life takes up more and more of my time...however, there's always time for gaming, but never enough!

My biggest priority right now, gaming-wise, at least, is to pump out a new revision for "Dungeon Slam!". It's been since last WittCon that I've done a full card revision, which means that it's high past due. Many of my cards are getting so marked up, that it's hard to read them!

What's more, the character cards--probably more than anything else--are getting somewhat beaten up. They're a little too small to read comfortably, and they really could use some more room to be functional on. In addition, I'd like to finally implement the "Health/Arcana" track system that I've been talking about doing. Formatting these in Publisher is difficult, but not impossible--finding the time, though...ugh.

Ideally, I'd like to have this revision done before the Christmas/Festivas/Boxing Day/etc. holiday, as many of the errant Witt-Weggers are rolling back into the Miami Valley. We'll see if this actually happens, but it should be an admirable goal, any way that you look at it.

My premiere notes for the WEGS Superz idea have come to somewhat of a halt, but only for a want of feedback. Definitely, I'd love to work up the Blaster and the Mystic/Psychic before break's end...What a New Years' Present that might be!

So, I guess it's time to take a deep breath and take the plunge. The holidays await, citizens!

In Which The Warlock Can Finally Breathe!

Thanksgiving has always been my favorite holiday--there's no pretenses about it whatsoever. You get together with your friends and family, eat until you can't move, watch football, then take a nap. Life is good, right?!

Well, this Thanksgiving signals the beginning of a definite slowdown in the Platinum-Life, which is much needed at this rate. With my fall slate of IEP meetings in the bag, and Parent-Teacher conferences completed, I can now get focused on some of the stuff that matters--the gaming!

Under a sort-of challenge from El Willy, I took it upon myself to start work on a new project--a total redux of his WEGS 101 system, moving from medieval swords-and-sorcery, to 4 Color, Silver Age, superheroes! So, I've been throwing down my 2d10 and 2d6, writing up skills and new rules for the pre-existing system, turning it into a 60s-styled beat 'em up! What's strange is the fact that this is actually working. It's almost easy, picturing the old-school Avengers as WEGS Arktypes...

Speaking of WEGS, I got the opportunity to throw down a brand new adventure, courtesy of El Willy, with a Thanksgiving twist: Hobgobble's Eve! Tossing down twice last weekend--once for our usual Friday night gaming group, and once more for the Witt-Weggers--the players found themselves in the midst of a HobGobbo feast, as they fought the leather-clad Gobbo Grandma, and the particularly cranky Grampa Umm-Lumm, in pursuit of the ancient Blunderboomer!

Thanksgiving brings with it the chance to actually head home for a while (and, hopefully, grab some wings at Dino's), but also a chance to actually work on "Dungeon Slam!" for once. With a good deal of Witt-Wegger Alumni coming back into town following the Christmas holiday, I'd love to get another printing done for them to sample. That'll take a fair amount of editing, though...but hopefully I'll be up to the task.

For all though, enjoy your day of feasting! Life is good, fellow gamers! Cheers!

In Which The Warlock Posts About Tasty, Delicious Nom Nom Noms...

Indulge me for a moment, as I wax poetic about something that's near and dear to my heart: good food.

When I was coming out of high school, I always had--somewhere in the back of my head--the desire to be a chef. It's not something I acted on, which I'm somewhat glad of now, as I'm sure I would not have the sheer physical endurance needed for the culinary world, but I still love to cook and can really appreciate well-made cuisine.

I readily admit: I'm a foodie. I watch Food Network incessantly. I've read all but one of Anthony Bourdain's books, cover to cover. I have a collection of cookbooks on top of my refridgerator. Hell, I've even played the "Iron Chef" drinking game...though I don't recommend it, if you have anything important to do in the near future.

It's kind of odd, as my favorite two cuisines are at almost diametric opposites on the spectrum.
Indian food is one of blending--bringing together a series of spices (a garum) into a blend that's standard for a household, which represents a personal flavor. Full of stewed and curried food, Indian cusine brings elements together into a singular meal, brought together by their commonalities.
Italian food, on the other hand, is one of stark flavors. In a well-made bruschetta, one can taste each individual ingredient for its full freshness and flavor, while simultaneously composing a greater whole of a simple antipasti.

It's because of this that I have a tendency to look for smaller, family-owned restaurants. It's no surprise that Jeet India and Giovanni's--both Fairborn institutions--are among my favorite restaurants.

What's most shocking to me, though, is the fact that I find myself recently enamored of a chain restaurant: Texas Roadhouse, of all places!

Starving and needing some dinner, the PlatinumChick and I headed to the newly opened chain-station earlier this evening, and my expectations were somewhat low. I've had steak and ribs at some of the best places on Earth: prime rib at the Jon-Benet Tavern in Butler, PA; ribs at Bob's Bar-be-que of Ada, OK...and I have rather high standards on both.

While I was expecting a pre-packaged, "Applebee's" steak, I instead got a tender cut of ribeye that parted before my steak knife like the red sea. I expected 'blinged-out' waiters with no knowledge of their menus; instead, I got a knowledgeable, friendly young guy who really knew his way around the kitchen.

Needless to say, I was impressed. For once, a chain got it right--the homestyle appeal, the food quality of a 'real' restaurant, and the love of food so common to fine cuisine. My commendations!

In Which The Warlock Remembers He Has a Blog!

Sorry for the lack of updates recently--the weeks have been hectic recently, as work has had me hopping on IEP and MFE documentation, to say nothing of my normal workload. As such, it's been a touch rough to focus on gaming during all this time.

That said, I have come up with something of an idea for a game...if I can pull it off.

The premise would be something of a coupling of Alan Moore's seminal Watchmen and some of the more recent Ramsey Campbell Cthulhu Mythos work, with a touch of Grant Morrison's Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on Serious Earth thrown in for good measure.

Players would take the role of low-powered superheroes--think Punisher, Batman, or Moon Knight instead of Green Lantern or Iron Man--as they investigate psychotic supervillains, vile cultists and serial killers, and the conspiracies behind the banning of global "superheroes".

The biggest problem in this centers on the system to use in this. There's no easy answers here...

I'm tempted to use Mutants and Masterminds, as many people are familiar with the d20 system. However, M&M suffers from the rules bloat of 3.5e D&D, and is really numbers heavy. While I'd always have d20 NPC Wiki to fall back on, I hate to do that on a consistent basis. Plus, it seems like most of the orientation in M&M is towards high-powered, Golden Age superheroes, which isn't exactly the time period in question.

I've heard good things about Silver Age Sentinels and Champions, but I own neither, which is...well, more money for only a singular game. And further, I don't know much about the actual nitty-gritty of either system.

As such, I'm left with my old stand-by: Heroes Unlimited. While I love the quirky little Palladium system, it's not exactly the most elegant thing out there, and many players balk at learning a new system just for one game. However, for low-powered supers, there might not be a better system to catch it.

Suggestions? I'm all ears...

In Which The Warlock Loves Steampunk Sword and Sorcery Politics...

Over on rpg.net, a fellow by the appellation of Old Kentucky Shark has been posting an ongoing serial dealing with the election, but in the style of...well, somewhere between a twisted version of Eberron, the Kull or Conan stories by Robert E. Howard, and an Onion satire article.

It's a fantastic, hilarious read, and worth take a look at regardless of your politics.

So, without futher adieu: Obamadammerung!

In Which The Warlock Scares the Crap out of the Witt-Kids...

I'd been itching to run a Halloween one-shot for a while, and when some of the players in Ebbs' Tuesday night game showed some interest in Ravenloft, I couldn't pass up the chance.

The thing is, though, we threw down some game on Saturday with a few twists. First off, we used 4e, rather than 3.5e, as Ravenloft was designed for. I was rather surprised to see that the system didn't really matter for us--the horror remained, even in a system that's a lot more player-friendly in that respect.

We also experimented with some new WotC rules--particularly the Artificer and the Barbarian, which are both available on their site as playtest builds. Nick played a warforged barbarian, while Dan took up the mantle of the artificer. The consensus on both was really positive: the artificer kept the party on its feet with temporary hit points, while using artifice and constructs to set up flanks and attacking enemies. The barbarian seemed a touch strong, as it was built around charging, but felt properly Conan-esque, dealing out massive damage with a greataxe.

Our scenario? A classic horror staple--the haunted asylum. So, as a treat to you, I present the true story of Birchcroft Sanitarium for the Mentally Deranged:

The real Birchcroft Sanitarium for the Mentally Deranged was found on the Prime Material, near the city of Port-a-Lucine. Its original director, Marcus Birchcroft IV, was a nobleman, who saw much of his family fall to the perils of mental illness. Hoping to help them, Birchcroft used his family’s considerable wealth to aid them as they fought off what modern psychologists would call Alzheimer’s disease, schizophrenia, and other severe psychotic episodes.

Marcus was lucky, in many ways, as he was spared the horrors of the afflictions that so ravaged the rest of his family. His wealth was able to attract some of the greatest psychoanalytic minds from across the world, including two such doctors: Dr. Gregor Illhousen—a 53 year old doctor of Psychiatric Medicine from Nedragaard, and Dr. Roderick Wellsby, a 40 year old doctor of Neurological Surgery.

Serving as Chief Financial Officer and Chairman of the Board, Marcus’s decision-making was incredibly sound, as he let the doctors create their own administration, with his own board overseeing their actions. The doctoral board was elected by the entire medicinal staff, and often chose Dr. Illhousen as their leader, as he was progressive leader, eager to try new “therapeutic” treatments, coupled with low-doses of psychotropics and sedatives. Under his administration, the Sanitarium propered, as he got along particularly well with Marcus.

Wellsby, however, chafed at this sorely. He viewed himself as the equal of Illhousen, as his treatments were just as effective as Illhousens. However, as Wellsby often received the ‘terminal’ cases, upon whom he was able to experiment. Wellsby’s most infamous experiments dealt with a trephination along the top of the brain stem, and the direct injection of heavily psychotropic drugs into the medulla oblongata. The ‘patients’ of Wellsby’s experimentation typically died, screaming.

This continued until Marcus Birchcroft died peaceably, on his 62nd birthday. Speaking with Illhousen and the senior hospital staff, he left the hospital to Illhousen, whom he viewed as a great friend. While placid on the surface, Wellsby raged. In his new position as Chief Physician, he slowly began to subvert the staff into believing that Illhousen was not a fit leader, and that another should replace him. Illhousen and Wellsby argued constantly over methods, as more and more patients received radically invasive surgical treatments.

In the end, it was Wellsby’s surgeries that proved the Sanitarium’s undoing. Hiring some thugs, he captured Illhousen on his way home, and brought him back to the sanitarium…as a patient. Keeping him awake and screaming the whole while, Wellsby induced treatment after treatment, surgery after surgery…until, at last, Illhousen broke the restraints and ran gibbering throughout the asylum. As he ran, releasing the inmates as he went, he knocked over an oil lamp into a fireplace, catching the entire facility on fire.

Everyone inside died that night, some screaming and bound, in straightjackets and manacles.
Birchcroft Sanitarium is situated on an Island of Terror, floating throughout the mists. It occasionally appears to lure others in, and re-create its mass of terror.

Sarah Palin is Girl Hitler

The proof:

Girl Hitler, of the Venture Brothers


Sarah Palin, Republican Vice-Presidential Candidate from Wasilla, Alaska

In Which The Warlock Posts Some Character Info...

Well, now that I'm in not one, but two 4e D&D games, I suppose that you might want to hear about them!

I guess I'll start with the Tuesday night game, over at Wittenberg. I'm not hosting the logs here--they'll be hosted at the Wittenberg Role-Playing Game website, here:

The Logs of Gerald Nimbus

As for now, though, here's the background for Gerald Nimbus!

Name: Gerald Nimbus (real last name: Harmattan)
Age: 48
Race: Human
Location: Rawinsonde, a small human hamlet on the eastern continent.
Parents: Garius and Alanna (long since deceased)
Siblings: Cordran (older brother), Maya (younger sister)
Faith: Believer in the ancient spirits (primordials), whom were defeated by the gods. Reveres Ras Shamra (the Great Eye in the Storm), but fears Ithaqua (the Walker of the Frozen Wastes).
Fav. Food: Caraway and Fennel-crusted loin of lamb, served over risotto. Red wine is a must.
Pastimes: Meteorology, rain-making, storm-chasing, oil painting.
Party Role: Crowd control, multi-target damage, ritual usage.
Strengths: High Intelligence, knowledge skills, ability to inflict status effects.
Weaknesses: Middling Defenses, relatively low HP, lack of social skills (cha-based)

Background:
Gerald Harmattan was born in the small town of Rawinsonde, an isolated village that continued to worship the Primordials—beings of great power and might—well after they were defeated by the current pantheon of gods. While several attempts were made by the current churches—most notably the faiths of Corellon and Pelor—the natives drove them out, in favor of their own rites.
Gerald’s arcane abilities came into shape at the hands of Frau Hedda, an ancient crone and hedge witch, who followed the chaotic primordial Ras Shamra, better known as the Great Eye in the Storm. Hedda instilled in Gerald a firm belief that the future could be controlled and manipulated through the pure energy of a natural thunderstorm. As such, she began instructing him in storm magic—how to bring peaceful rain to those who were allied with you, while raining ice, lightning, and blasts of thunder upon those who dared slight you.
After Frau Hedda died, Gerald left Rawinsonde for points unknown. He had attempted to join a mercenary company—the Black Freighter—as a warmage, but his habits of storm-watching and the like earned him the company’s ire, and he left after his first 6 month campaign.
Instead, Gerald teamed up with an adventuring troupe known as the Emerald Eyes of Ekron. They traveled together for nearly 8 years, defeating several menaces, including a hobgoblin horde which Gerald very nearly decimated singlehandedly. However, as the group spent their night and spoils in a roadside inn, a storm brewed up. Gerald immediately went out into it to read the skies. Coming back in minutes later, he announced his retirement from the group, and left without further word. As it turned out, less than 3 days later, the Emerald Eyes were slain to the last man. Gerald then joined up with another group, the Phantom Riders. They too, were slain mysteriously after Gerald left. Again, their deaths came scant days after Gerald retired from the group, following a severe storm.
Gerald has only recently come across this adventuring group, and has been troubled deeply by his joining. Under the advice of one of the Phantom Riders—an elven scout named Caylen, who may be one of the few females Gerald could be said to have loved—he has taken up oil painting. However, the pictures have taken on a disturbing turn—one of great tempests and swirling bodies in the void…as a blizzard-bound behemoth with coal-red eyes looks on. The figure could only be Ithaqua…the long-dead spirit of frost that forever challenges Ras Shamra for the right to the stormy chariot.

Typically, Gerald gets along best with those adventurers who use their brain. Rogues and the like tend to get along with him well, as they use their wits to survive, as do more intelligent fighters and warlords. While not a traditionally “tactical” mind, Gerald’s time in the Black Freighter mercenary company has given him a rudimentary knowledge of squad-level strategy. Concurrently, Gerald typically butts heads with divinely powered warriors—clerics and paladins—believing them to follow false powers into acts of ignorance and zealotry, such as the conversion attempts on Rawinsonde.
As with his prior groups, Gerald has a tendency to freak out his companions with his bizarre behaviors during storms and the like. However, his storm-reveries often lead him towards great insights and prophecies as he “looks into the eye of Ras Shamra for wisdom”. This, coupled with his more-and-more disturbing oil paintings leads many casual observers to believe he’s insane. However, those who actually get to know Gerald—perhaps by sitting down and having a glass of wine with him—will soon learn otherwise.
Gerald often wonders about his former comrades, particularly Caylen. While he knows what the storm-reveries have shown him, he cannot help but hold out hope that she may somewhere be alive.

In Which The Warlock Gains a New Form of Geekdom...

In all my years of gaming--since about 6th grade, all be told--I've never been that high on using miniatures. Truth be told, I never really had the money for it. Out of all the friends that I played table-top D&D with, my family was the poorest. As such, I couldn't exactly just ask my parents to plop down much needed cash for little plastic or lead-based army men.

So, we improvised. We used our imaginations. We fudged things. Who cared if you were 5 feet away, if it meant laying the smackdown on the big nasty?! The focus was on the drama, the action, the combat.

However, I couldn't help but feel like I was missing something. Minis were the unknown territory for me...and while I suppose I feigned disinterest, I've always been intregued by them, whether ogling the massive battle set-ups at Origins or watching the Warhammer 40k battles at WittCon II. And now with 4e out there? It was time to make a switch in perspective.

So, I finally gave in. The PlatinumChick has always liked minis-painting, and I had even gotten her a quality set of paints for her birthday this past August. As such, when this past Wittenberg Game Day arrived, and there were few takers for most of the games, I decided to give the painting gig a go.

Now, mind you, I'm horrible at art. Completely. My stick figures come out lopsided. But, for whatever reason, I was actually able to put together a few satisfactory efforts.

I started with an elven archer--Jathalain, for those of you that read the Saltmarsh Diaries, and then moved onto a massive skeleton, and then rounded out my evening by working on a blackguard fig I had picked up more recently.

Overall, things didn't turn out too badly. Our brushes weren't always cooperative--particularly the fine detail brush, which was bent to at least a 60 degree angle--and the number of times I had to re-do certain sections was incalculable, but the end results were more than satisfactory.

The level of strain and the like, though, is massive, and it makes me all the more impressed with the wargaming-minis crowd, who put together massive armies in no time at all. I got a headache partway through painting the giant skeleton, and decided to stop and play a quick game of Yetisburg (yes, that's spelled right, and don't try to tell me there weren't Yetis and War Mammoths at Pickett's Charge).

Pics will be forthcoming, once the PlatinumChick fixes my now-broken camera. Grrr...

In Which The Warlock is Late...

...due to the power outages in the Greater Miami Valley over the weekend, I was unable to get together an update. Expect one later this week, once things are more situated!

In Which The Warlock Doesn't Geek Out For Once...

This weekend, instead of our usual routine of sitting around Lionel's dining room table and playing Arkham Horror, the PlatinumChick and I headed down for a mini-vacation before she finally begins her Masters' degree program at Wright State. As such, I figured I'd share some of the details here...

We began with something of some hectic errand-running before heading down through Cincinnati towards Newport-on-the-Levee, in Kentucky. I had never been in this region before, aside from a brief field trip to the Reds' Stadium two years prior. I was rather impressed at the set-up to be had down there, as the area felt like an outdoor piazza, complete with street vendors and the like, in amongst the upscale bistros and such.

Jules had been wanting to head to Newport Aquarium for quite a while, so I didn't disappoint--it was our first stop. The aquarium itself, though, was something of a disappointment. A few years ago, when we had spent spring break in Gatlinburg, we had spent an afternoon at the impressive Ripley's Aquarium, which was a pleasant treat--I hadn't expected an exhibition by the infamous "Ripley's Believe it or Not!" to be so well constructed and thought out. However, Newport Aquarium was something of a let-down by comparison. Jules' big thrust for seeing Newport again was their new "Frog Bog" exhibit, which was much vaunted. In reality, though, it was a tiny exhibit aimed mainly at children, with no more actual frogs than your average pet store.

After the aquarium, we walked around the plaza for a while before settling on a Brio Tuscan Grille for dinner. We were not disappointed in any sense. Coming just before the dinner rush, we were seated quickly just off of the main dining room. We began the meal with a pitcher of Mango Bellini--a light, margarita type drink made with prosecco--and an order of Bruschetta Caprese, which was everything one could hope from in a bruschetta: fragrent, delicate, and bursting with flavor.

Jules enjoyed a meal of chicken with a butternut squash risotto, which filled her up nearly to bursting, while I indulged my fetish for pesto. My pasta came in a creamy pesto sauce, coupled with roasted chicken, sun-dried tomatoes, and fresh buffalo mozzerella. I often joke that when I've had a good meal--usually at Jeet--I waddle out of the place. I was waddling, coming out of Brio. Stuffed with enough garlic to kill a dozen vampires, we headed north of the city and found ourselves a room.

Today, we slept in at the hotel (in a massive king size bed!), before heading out for two places with a uniqueness all their own: Ikea and Jungle Jim's.

Now, I've been to an Ikea before. When one moved into Moon Township, just outside of Pittsburgh International Airport, my parents jumped on it with both feet. I may not have been able to enjoy it then, but now? My how times have changed.

Jules and I had been searching for a hanging wall-organizer for years, with no luck. Now, we have one, which was apparently dubbed "Luns".

An aside...Ikea amuses me to no end. I'm not sure whether it's a cognate thing or not, but many of their lines of furniture have human-esque names. Billy is a type of bookshelf, while Benno is the accompanying CD/DVD tower--apparently they're friends? However, they don't like Jeff the folding chair, and often talk behind his back to Hermann, the dining room chair.

I wish I was kidding. :D

After roaming around Ikea for the better part of 2-3 hours, we headed to Jungle Jim's to pick up some victuals. Jungle Jim's is like no other supermarket on earth. Specializing in organic foods and world cuisine, we go there to pick up kitchen supplies as well as Indian foodstuffs. This time, in addition to our usual foods, Jules picked up some sashimi grade tuna--looks like she'll be eating well for a while!

So, now we're back home with some new furnishings, quite a bit of relaxation, and some readiness for the coming week. Here's for hoping it'll be a quick one!

In Which The Warlock Fails to Deliver a Climax...

So, our much lauded Dark Heresy game has reached its end. And, if I may say so, it was something of a letdown.

I often joke with my players about my record of PK-ing. To say the least, I have a pretty lethal record in my games. To my credit, prior to Friday, I've only had one "true" TPK--one of my Ravenloft games, during college. Sure, my one-shots typically end out with a higher-than-average body count, but in campaign terms, there's generally a pretty high success rate.

As such, my joking was taken in stride as I set up a massive map of a quarantined morgue that the characters were set to investigate. I had anticipated that, if I was in fact going to kill them that night, it would probably be in there, fighting Daemons. Instead, they died in a car crash.

Let me set the stage for you, O Gentle Reader. Fred's Guardsman, Karn (better known as Karnnold, when he's talking like the svelte Austrian), has all of two actual skills to his credit--Drive Land Vehicle and Survival. So, Fred jumps on any opportunity to use these skills with both feet. Figuring that Drive might be useful here, I ask him for a Drive check, thinking that a success would lead them straight to the morgue without incident, while a massive failure might lead them through ganger territory.

Massive failure ensues. The characters start noticing thugs, armed with miniguns and the like, start to surround their ground transport.

Now, Chris, playing the Imperial Psyker Sigismund, works the same way as Fred...only he has psychic powers. He immediately jumps into action by casting Aura of Fear. He succeeds in high style, forcing a Willpower save from everyone around him--including the party, locked in the transport with him.

At this point, I should note that Nick's Cleric (the leader of the group), has a Willpower score of something close to 60.

Massive failure ensues. While Jule's Scum and Karn succeeds, both Will's Psyker and Nick's Cleric fail. They watch as phantasmal insects and snakes stream out Sigismund's mouth and start covering the floor and walls of the transport. Nick, notably freaked out, attempts to shoulder-block open the back hatch...and succeeds with a critical success.

With Nick's cleric now rolling on the ground, and the door flapping open, I immediately ask for a Drive roll from Fred to keep control of the vehicle.

Massive failure ensues, again. The transport ends up clipping a light pole on the passenger side and another Drive roll is asked for.

Yeah, you guessed it. Massive failure and all that jazz. The transport bounces off of the light pole and swings, ass-end first, into a nearby bar, croweded with patrons. The transport catches on fire, and everyone takes (as I roll) 30 damage.

Let me enlighten something right here. Dark Heresy isn't quite like D&D in terms of hit points. In DH, 8 points is a severe wound, and 12-15 wounds will take you right out of the fight and make you a greasy smear. 30 damage? They're cleaning you up with a sponge and a mop.

As such, it's Game Over. As the players found out, Imperial Planet Scintilla is later destroyed by the Tyrant Star, summoned by their mysterious decohedron.

And now? Well, it seems that my campaign world might just be getting some exercise. Jules has volunteered to start up a 6th level 4e game, using my world, and we spent the rest of the session writing up characters. My Dwarven Rogue is ready to jump into action!